So Thursday began with a difficult time getting up due to staying up watching mindless television, or was it mindlessly watching mindlessness on television, or was it forgetting there's nothing on almost always and wishing I weren't a slave to the idiot box but still am and thus remained up until 2-3 am and couldn't get up when they rang the bell to start round one of child care at 6:30 am. But as I recall from yesterday morning, I did manage to feed Eliza and feed Ruby and even feed myself and I took the time to rummage through the books in the house to see if I could find Arc of Justice for John Bean, an old family friend of the Colgans who were to meet for lunch, but I didn't, so I grabbed a new copy of Mountains beyond mountains instead and got Ruby and Eliza all ready to embark on our walk to Union Station to meet Corie and John at B. Smiths. First, let me tell you that once I got out of the door I realized it was about 11:20 and we were to meet at 11:45 in the am. Given that it would probably take 20 minutes of walking at a decent clip to get to Union, I did something rare, but given that I have my summers' work free, I wish I did it more often--I slowed down, I didn't try to walk fast, I didn't force Ruby to hold onto the stroller and do double quick time while keeping up with Dad, rather I found that I too, had Ruby's pace, and could find that walking pace all the more enjoyable. I suddenly noticed the world around me; the brick sidewalks, the trees, the light and shadow across 4th street and I could account for my steps; there was a light breeze-this was living. This was Tich Nhat Hahn mindfulness and it hurt it was so beautiful. When approaching a cross walk that was winding down it's seconds not in our favor, I stopped. And took in the view, the architecture, they sky, Ruby, Eliza, the passing cars and bicycles, the aromas of plants and animals... It was a gracious walk, and a moment where I felt like I got it, if only temporarily--as fleeting as the moment of realization always is and we, at least I, tend to get sucked back into the stress of it all, I did get it and enjoy it, it's depth and dimension, it's patience and temporality, it was beautiful. So Ruby and Eliza and I turned to cross the street mid way between 4th and 5th on East Capitol to take the alley way and I was struck to sing the song "lollipop" and pull my jaw at the end of the refrain and make that "pop" sound which piqued Ruby's interest and funny bone and she wanted me to show her how to do it and I tried and then changed the words to the melody to Ruby Lu, Ruby Lu oh Ruby Ruby Ruby Ruby Lu POP, ba du du... then "Lizer bean" then "Daddy Dad..." and on and on and we were walking to Union Station and I checked the time, and it was good... we were going to be on time. And we were. But the walk was a lesson in the depth of living in the present moment, this reality, of connecting to reality and sharing the intensity of simple walking and mindfulness with loved ones, tiny and pretty tiny family members, and it was a beautiful symmetry between our environment and ourselves and, although it couldn't last, it was a reminder... something to call forth from a place of stasis from which you can recall the details of the experience and let them in and percolate forth the language necessary to wholly express them. Lunch with John Bean was terrific. What a nice man. He was in a great spirit and is a lovely conversationalist keeping Ruby in the loop and playing the animal game with her. Corie was, not without warrant, stressed a bit by work and us running overtime. B. Smith's is such an elegant atmosphere--so glad to have John eat there for the first time.
The walk home however. Well, that didn't go so well. Ruby had not eaten much of her mac and cheese at lunch in the hopes, (Because--i (stupid) said maybe we could stop at the bagel store on the way home) she could have a bagel, and I told her, if she had eaten her lunch she could have stopped for a bagel or gotten one for later, but since she didn't eat her lunch when it was in front of her, we weren't stopping. (WHERE IS THE LOGIC, or is there logic in that?)
Well.
Ruby can sustain scream/crying for an awfully long, long time. All the way from past the bagel store to Brent Elementary where we dropped off her and Kaia's Medical forms and met with Ms. Diggs who was very welcoming to Ruby and helped cease the flow of tears and "I want a bagel" declarations.
It was a hard lesson and I walked faster, much faster pushing the stroller. I still did not try to make it when lights were about to turn red, but I was no longer in the land of wonder I'd been in earlier. One guy on a bike rode by and said "So sad" and I felt impulses to both smile and punch him, of which I did neither.
After Brent, we did head home and enjoyed some calm before heading out to the library before picking up Kai Kai from the bus. Kaia has only one day of camp left and I'm almost as glad it's going to be over as she is since she has had difficulty separating from Mommie in the mornings and struggled to make friends. Hard stuff. Hopefully only a phase. Still, once she acclimates she does more than well.
I'm starting to get the stay at home inside, and try to get the girls to play and entertain themselves a bit thing down a little. (Watch out!--Might have to eat those words). My goal this weekend is to get the art studio functional and pictures up around the house. This will give me another activity in my repertoire and you can never have too too many of those.
The walk home however. Well, that didn't go so well. Ruby had not eaten much of her mac and cheese at lunch in the hopes, (Because--i (stupid) said maybe we could stop at the bagel store on the way home) she could have a bagel, and I told her, if she had eaten her lunch she could have stopped for a bagel or gotten one for later, but since she didn't eat her lunch when it was in front of her, we weren't stopping. (WHERE IS THE LOGIC, or is there logic in that?)
Well.
Ruby can sustain scream/crying for an awfully long, long time. All the way from past the bagel store to Brent Elementary where we dropped off her and Kaia's Medical forms and met with Ms. Diggs who was very welcoming to Ruby and helped cease the flow of tears and "I want a bagel" declarations.
It was a hard lesson and I walked faster, much faster pushing the stroller. I still did not try to make it when lights were about to turn red, but I was no longer in the land of wonder I'd been in earlier. One guy on a bike rode by and said "So sad" and I felt impulses to both smile and punch him, of which I did neither.
After Brent, we did head home and enjoyed some calm before heading out to the library before picking up Kai Kai from the bus. Kaia has only one day of camp left and I'm almost as glad it's going to be over as she is since she has had difficulty separating from Mommie in the mornings and struggled to make friends. Hard stuff. Hopefully only a phase. Still, once she acclimates she does more than well.
I'm starting to get the stay at home inside, and try to get the girls to play and entertain themselves a bit thing down a little. (Watch out!--Might have to eat those words). My goal this weekend is to get the art studio functional and pictures up around the house. This will give me another activity in my repertoire and you can never have too too many of those.
